Slurm Can Cooler

Are you reading this in the future? Have they made Slurm yet? What does it taste like? Are you addicted? Silly question, of course you are! Do not go to the factory! We hear gross things about how Slurm is made. Is there a way you could send us back some? We want some! Give us the Slurm! Sorry, we’re not sure what just happened there.By the way, how did you get to the future? Can we come? Will we get Slurm? Oh? We just have to wait like everyone else? Well, for those of us who are NOT in the future, we will just have to slip this Slurm Can Koozie around our regular (only slightly addictive) sodas and energy drinks. We repeat, DO NOT GO TO THE FACTORY! Somethings are best left a mystery.